This week's assignment was writing a scene with a child as narrator. This completely changes everything, from your spelling and grammar to your storytelling skills to the editing. Truth be told, I kinda enjoyed the freedom of no grammar rules and the ability to just go off on tangents and then spring back into the story with no need for linking sentences. It's kinda like me, in real life, hehehe...
And while I'm not sure there will be a need for the child's perspective in my prospective novel, you never know when it will come in handy.
Anyways, as usual, assignment is below, and all words copyright moi. Will be interesting to hear what you think about this one.
Child narrator: Puppies
Jessica? Jessica?!! I can’t find Jessica. I HAVE to find her. She gets scared all alone. She doesn’t like it when she can’t see me. And so I go outside into the yard and I see them and I don’t like it, not one bit.
Mummy, mummy, please come quickly.
Please, mummy. PLEASE.
And there is my mummy and she can see me crying but it’s not me she needs to see – no, uh-uh – and so I point and I cry and I scream again MUUUUM!!!! STOP THEM!!!!
But mummy is wiping my eyes and calming me down but I don’t want her to do that so I squiggle and I squirm in her arms and I yank my arm away and I point again and try to jump up and down so she can see. I don’t want to look at them any more. They are naughty boys and they are hurting that poor little puppy. I put my hands over my ears and I close my eyes and stamp my feet because I don’t want to see it anymore. But even with my eyes closed I can hear the puppy crying.
And now I can hear mummy. She is yelling at the naughty boys and telling them off and yelling for daddy and then daddy comes and he is saying those bad words that mummy always tells him off for saying. I always giggle when he says them but even now I can’t because the poor puppy is sad.
My cousins are naughty boys – nuh-aww-tee. I don’t like them at all but my aunty is nice and she always has chocolate in her fridge that she lets me eat as long as I don’t tell anyone about it – oops. My aunty is nice and I like her but the boys are bad boys. Very bad boys. I hit at them as I run over to see the poor little puppy but they laugh at me. They are bigger than me and they think they are soooooo clever but they aren’t at all – nuh-uh. And now my daddy is dragging them into the house and they are going to get it soooo bad.
I didn’t like seeing what they did. I came out into the yard to look for Jessica. Jessica is my favourite dolly and she is reallllllly soft and she always comes with me wherever I go but I couldn’t find her and thought maybe I had left her outside. Sometimes Teddy takes her outside for a play as well. Teddy is our puppy. We have had Teddy since I was fwee-half and that was a looooong time.Teddy is my friend as well and we always play together with the ball I throw the ball and Teddy runs and gets it and brings it back and I find that funny. And also Teddy always follows me around and he is really small and those boys had his legs and they were pulling and it looked like they were trying to pull him in half and it was horrid. They were laughing and laughing and Teddy was crying and I was crying and now I’m crying more because poor Teddy is just lying there and I don’t know if he’s ok.
Mummy? Is Teddy ok? But mummy doesn’t say anything and I go and grab her leg and pull on her skirt tug tug tug Mummy?
“Darling, mummy needs to get Teddy to the hospital for puppies. Do you think you can go and get me my phone?”
But muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuuuhm! Is Teddy ok-ayyyy?? If we have to take him to the puppy hospital is he going to go to heaven? If Teddy is going to heaven I am going to kick those boys. I don’t care if they are bigger than me. They hurt Teddy.
“Darling, please fetch mummy’s phone. Daddy is busy and I really need you to be a big girl and help mummy. Can you do that for me?”
And so I go inside because mummy always keeps her phone on the table with her keys that is in the hallway and I reach up on my tippy toes to get the phone. And as I go past mummy and daddy’s room I can hear those naughty boys crying and daddy is yelling at them I think good and I take mummy her phone.
And mummy talks really softly in the phone but I can’t hear what she says because she goes away. I try to pet Teddy softly Teddy it’s ok mummy is going to get the doctor and we’ll fix you up and you won’t need to go to heaven and then I won’t let those naughty boys anywhere near you anymore nuh-uh. But mummy yells at me to stop touching Teddy and I don’t know why. She does that a LOT. And then she goes to get a blanket from inside the house and wraps Teddy up but really softly because she says we don’t want to hurt him anymore. I don’t like that Teddy hurts. I don’t like it at all, nuh-uh.
But then I don’t know what’s going to happen because mummy rushes off in the car she said I can’t come with her and to stay here. And daddy is still in with the naughty boys. I can hear my aunty coming up the driveway calling for the boys and I think oh no and I run up to her and tell her Aunty Sue the boys were pulling on Teddy’s legs and mummy has taken him to the hospital and I think he’s going to go to heaven do you think Teddy will go to heaven? And as I am asking her that she looks funny like her face is all screwing up like that orange mummy told me not to eat because it was bad and brown and wrinkley and she runs inside calling for Dan – that’s my daddy, he is Dan, like man, only Dan – and I think uh-oh but then I can see Jessica. She is on the driveway and I try not to think that maybe she was under mummy’s car because she wouldn’t like that. She looks all dirty and so I say come on Jessica let’s go get you cleaned up and so I take Jessica into the cubby house and I shut the door and the windows and I brush Jessica down and set out the tea cups and we have a tea party. Jessica and I both know that out here in the cubby house we can’t hear any of the yelling and the fighting and the bad words that get said inside the house. We are in our hiding place and nufink can touch us in here, nuh-uh. NUFINK.